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Sicherheit bei der WM2014

Posted by Jens Kubieziel on

Kürzlich bekam ich eine E-Mail, die mit dem Satz »auf Ihrer Seite kubieziel.de habe ich gelesen, dass Sie über Fußball berichten« begann. Wer meine Seite kennt, wird wissen, dass es hier kaum um Fußball geht. Aber das soll sich ändern. ;-)

Lagezentrum mit WLAN-Passwort
Das Bild stammt von der WM 2014 in Brasilien. Das Symbolfoto sollte wohl nur den Herrn im Lagezentrum zeigen. Stattdessen erblickt das aufmerksame Auge am rechten Rand die Zugangsdaten für das WLAN. Viel Spaß beim Surfen! ;-)

The great thing about ... jokes

Posted by Jens Kubieziel on

Bei Twitter war kürzlich mal wieder ein nettes Mem zu beobachten. Es entstand eine Folge von „The great thing about $PROTOCOL jokes is $PROTOKOLLEIGENSCHAFT.“-Sätzen. Zu finden ist das Ganze unter dem Hashtag #protolol. Naja, lest selbst:

  • The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
  • The great thing about IP over Avian Carrier jokes is that if your joke gets fragmented, you at least get free dinner.
  • The great thing about WebDAV jokes is you can tell many different versions of the same joke and people will still listen.
  • The great thing about Zeroconf jokes is that you can just walk up to strangers and tell them, no introduction necessary.
  • The great thing about IPP jokes is that you always end up with a paper record of the joke in question.
  • The great thing about Nessus jokes is that they’re often inaccurate and poorly worded.
  • The great thing about rsync jokes is that it only tells them if you haven’t heard them before.
  • The great thing about bacterial transformation jokes is that there are always a lot of fungis involved.
  • The great thing about DHCP jokes is that you can lend them to others and take them back when you want.
  • The great thing about DNS jokes is that you don’t have to tell them with authority.
  • The great thing about BGP jokes? Anyone can claim they are their own, all you can do is hope your neighbours like them.
  • The great thing about nerdy jokes is that they follow a general pattern of self-referentiality that can be abstracted out.
  • The great thing about ASLR jokes is you never know where they’re going.
  • The great thing about antivirus jokes is you only need to change them a little and they’re funny again.
  • The great thing about encryption jokes is d0842c7091158f8a8e6c89ed0cf4ec07.
  • The great thing about gmail jokes is the chinese read them before you do.
  • The great thing about TLS jokes is that you can tell if it’s not original.
  • The great thing about XML jokes is that you can put anything into them.
  • The great thing about Java jokes is waiting for them to begin.
  • The great thing about Teredo jokes is that you can tell smart jokes even when surrounded by dumb peers.
  • The great thing about PGP email encryption jokes is that nobody can read their own encrypted email because it’s so unusable.
  • The great thing about RFC 862 jokes is the great thing about RFC 862 jokes.
  • The great thing about source routing jokes is that someone else get in trouble for telling them at your instigation.
  • The great thing about DNS jokes is that they work on so many levels.
  • The great thing about fragmentation jokes is
  • The great thing about IGMP jokes is that you can be selective in who gets them.
  • The great thing about ARP jokes is they’re unauthenticated.
  • The great thing about IPv6 jokes is that there are so many of them.
  • The great thing about ICMP error jokes is that nobody can ever reply to them.
  • The great thing about UDP jokes is that even if you don’t get them, nobody notices.
  • The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they’re not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
  • The best thing about XMPP jokes is that you can tell when they’re available.
  • The problem with greylisting jokes is, that you always have to tell them twice.
  • The sad thing about Kerberos jokes is that you first have to buy a ticket to join the laughter.
  • The problem with PGP jokes is that you need to gain everybody’s trust before they can laugh with it.
  • The best GFW jokes are inaccessible from China.
  • The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
  • The best thing about proprietary protocol jokes is REDACTED. 
  • The best thing about SMTP jokes is, you had me at HELO. 
  • The best part about WAF jokes is there are a hundred ways to tell them, and everyone is sure to get them.
  • The problem with git jokes is everyone has their own version.
  • Everybody loves MitM jokes. Well, everybody except Alice and Bob that is.
  • The worst thing about Perl jokes is that next morning you can’t understand why they seemed so funny.
  • I don’t make SQLi jokes myself, I get them FROM USERS.
  • The good thing about OTR jokes is that you forget the punchline afterwards.
  • The best thing about Skype jokes is the ridiculous lengths they’ll go to, to be told at all.
  • The best thing about mathematical jokes is left as an exercise for the reader.
  • The best thing about Twitter API jokes is that you can only make 100 of them per hour.
  • The problem with 802.11 jokes is that somebody far away is always listening.
  • The problem with BGP jokes is the need for a local default joke, just in case you reject all of the other jokes coming in!
  • The problem with telling NTP jokes is that you’re constantly adjusting your timing.
  • The worst thing about HTML jokes is that your audience doesn’t always GET it.
  • The good thing about pure functional jokes is, telling them has no side effects.
  • The good thing about Twitter jokes is they’re so short.
  • The problem with ASCII jokes is having to leave out the good bits.
  • The bad thing about DVCS jokes is they’re all clones of each other …
  • The best part about a CISSP joke, is you don’t have to know anything about security to get it.
  • The problem with CSS jokes is that everyone understands them differently.
  • The great thing about integer overflow jokes is that GCC doesn’t think they’re funny.
  • The problem with standards jokes is that there are so many to choose from.
  • The problem with IPv4 jokes is there aren’t enough for everyone.
  • The problem with dining cryptographers network jokes is that you never know who told them.
  • The problem with DRM jokes is that you can’t share them with your friends.
  • The best part about TTL jokes is that they can only be told so many times.
  • The problem with anonymity jokes is that any jackass can take the credit for them.
  • The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
  • The bad thing about Turing machine jokes is you never can tell when they’re over.
  • The great thing about HTML jokes is that you’re never quite sure when they end.
Eine Zusammenstellung gibt es auch bei attrition.org.

Illuminati rückwärts

Posted by Jens Kubieziel on

Bei Twitter macht gerade wieder ein kleiner Witz die Runde:

Man tippe “Illuminati” rückwärts in die URL-Zeile des Browsers ein, füge ein .com hinzu und staune.

In der Tat ist das Staunen groß, wenn sich die Webseite der NSA öffnet. Der eine oder andere verortet den Geheimdienst in der Illuminatenecke. Doch warum öffnet sich gerade diese Seite? Gibt die NSA damit zu, selbst zu den Illuminati zu gehören?

Eine kleine Recherche ergibt, dass sich jemand einen Scherz erlaubt hat. Die Whois-Abfrage ergibt eine Privatperson aus Provo in Utah. Eine DNS-Abfrage zeigt, dass der Server gerade nicht in der Nähe von Fort Meade steht. Also mal eine HTTP-Anfrage eingetippert:

telnet 64.202.189.170 80
HEAD / HTTP/1.1
Host: itanimulli.com

HTTP/1.1 301 Moved Permanently
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2010 21:00:06 GMT
Server: Microsoft-IIS/6.0
X-Powered-By: ASP.NET
X-AspNet-Version: 2.0.50727
Location: http://www.nsa.gov
Cache-Control: private
Content-Length: 0

Also hat sich wohl eine Privatperson einen Scherz erlaubt. In der Tat ergibt ein wenig Suchen einen Blogbeitrag. Dort wird bestätigt, dass es ein kleiner Gag ist. :-)

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